I confess, I wanted to be Oscar when I grew up.

Can you guess who is completely and utterly lazy?

If you didn’t say “The chick who runs this so-called ‘blog'”, then you’re a hell of a lot kinder than I am.

Although, I don’t know if I could call it “lazy.” I’ve been distracted, yes. Occasionally busy due to my poor time management, most certainly. But I think “lazy” is brushing aside why I haven’t updated in months.

I’ve had my eyes open to the fact that I don’t really come off like I’m confident. Sucks to hear, you know. But it’s an eye-opener. Here I was, thinking I was strutting my stuff to Staying Alive.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okpCx87orOA&ab_channel=GijsvanDinther

In reality, I was hiding behind trash cans and hoping no one would see me.

I really love Oscar.

I’m not confident in myself because I put myself down. It’s really simple.

So, I’ve been reading some articles, because I’m not really interested in purchasing self-help books that will only collect dust on my bookshelf. I think I’ve gotten the main points down on what I need to do. It’s the ideas that stood out for me, which, you know, really does mean that those are the points that hit hardest to home for me.

But the thing is, I actually already knew I had to to these things.

Whenever my friends are down, I always tell them they should try and identify what pushed them down the stairs. Identification is so important in almost every aspect of the word. What I have to do, my friends, is identify what I cling to that pulls me down. What is it that I latch onto to grade my self-worth? Do I compare myself to someone? Do I look at myself in the mirror and think “You don’t look like Charlize Theron?” and thus am immediately unconfident?

It’s been affecting my job search more than I realised. I walk into interviews and the sharks can already smell I’ve scratched myself. It doesn’t really make you feel good. But identifying the problem and then breaking it down is the best thing someone can do to change the way they perceive things.

Fingers crossed I only continue to move upward. Fingers crossed I actually sit down and think of a topic for this blog. Fingers crossed I’m as cute as Oscar the Grouch when I’m at my grumpiest.

The question I’ve had to ask myself is: If I don’t have confidence in myself, then why should anyone else?

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