NaNoWriMo: Day 3.

So, NaNoWriMo is underway! I have tossed my hat into the ring once more. To write 50,000 words in a month isn’t difficult. I actually signed up for a challenge called Get Your Words Out and managed to meet my 150,000 goal within four months due to roleplaying with a friend.

Some people have already met their 50,000 word goal, and I congratulate them for having a story that felt so alive and real that they couldn’t stop typing. Most people haven’t — like me — and that’s cool. I have participated in this challenge for almost a decade under various circumstances. I was in high school and then university, and now I’m out in the real world. My availability, and even my poor energy, has changed with each year.

Right now, I’m coming off a low of not really writing much at all. I roleplay with friends, but it’s not the same as writing a coherent story for myself. For one, the creativity and the method you approach it is different. And you also have a great writer to bounce off of, which makes it all the more enjoyable. But writing an original piece, like I’ve chosen to for Nano, is different for me. It requires more thought and a hell of a lot of self-esteem, which I, unfortunately, lack right now.

I have learned a few things about myself over the years of doing this challenge. Sometimes I fail due to motivation and poor planning (time management, the planning of the story itself, etc.) and sometimes I win due to refusing to never give up and working hard on a story. I have never finished a story. I have never had a completed manuscript on my hard drive. And that’s okay. I have the main points of a story written out.

I’m very fond of using mythology, it seems. Two years ago, I wrote about the apocalypse, specifically the four horsemen — or horsewomen. Three years ago, it was werewolves. I’m pretty sure I wrote about witches the years prior to that. (I love me some witches, man. They’re awesome.) This year, I’m taking from the Greeks.

I had a plan. I was going to do my sea slug story, but it’s missing something. Instead, on November 1, in the great think box known as the shower, I thought to myself “The Garden of Hesperides. Hercules. Those Twelve Labours. Cerberus.” And then I had a very vague idea of my story.

Hercules’ Twelve Labours re-envisioned. Instead of a handsome and muscly hero who has muses singing of what a great man he is, the completer of the Labours would be a girl who is brazen and reckless, and who requires the assistance of her friends and some strangers, just like Hercules. I don’t know if any Titans holding the world on their shoulders will be recruited into this, but time will tell. I’m “pantsing” for the first time in a long while.

I still want to write about subverting the Chosen One trope. Maybe this story doesn’t even hit it. Maybe it enters its own trope that I haven’t read on the Tropes website. But I’ve found that the biggest challenge isn’t trying to figure out what I’m trying to write about in terms of a story or a genre or a character archetype I necessarily want to deconstruct. It’s very, very simple, in my opinion.

I haven’t written for myself in a very long time. That’s the challenge.

Write a story I want. Write a story I would like to read. And even if the first draft is crappy, that’s okay. I wroteThat is my challenge. To get myself to write and fall in love again. And to stop judging everything I do based on what someone else would like. The most important person is me.

I’m having a really enjoyable time sharing my progress on Twitter and Instagram. And, hell, I’m even getting into it like all the other inspirational writers by creating a Pinterest board for my story. I’ve never done this before. It’s already new for me, for someone who never shares this stuff since writing has always been super personal and private. I think that’s going to be my lesson this Nano.

This is the first year I’m doing this alone, without any support from a friend who is doing it alongside me. But it’s not so scary. I have the NaNoWriMo community on these social media sites. And it’s cool.

If you want to be buddies, feel free to add me on any of these social media — and NaNoWriMo — and I’ll add back.

Good luck to all my fellow Nanoers out there. I sure do hope to cross paths with you over the next month!


I can’t grow a moustache for Movember.

I am participating in NaNoWriMo this year with the intention of getting the original story I have been craving to write for almost two years out of my system — or, at least, on paper and out of my head. That sounds a little more polite, doesn’t it?

The problem is: I’m more afraid of writing it than I am motivated to write it. I’m sure a lot of people out there can relate — or I hope they can. I may just be a little weird …

This year, I’m busier than I have been previously. I don’t expect myself to be writing every day. But I think if I write my story and I get it down on paper and not shelve it again, that’s something. Right? I think so. I haven’t written anything original in a long time, so I think the commitment and the fact I want to is good. It’s good enough for me, and isn’t this writing challenge all about doing what you want to do?

So, I’ve chosen to commit myself to a few things this coming November.

  • There is no try, but only do.
  • I will not give up.
  • I will write every day, even if it isn’t a part of my story, as every word and every thought counts.
  • I will not be afraid.
  • I will write for myself.
  • I will update this blog with my progress in the hope that it inspires others like me to keep on writing when everything feels bleak.
  • I will express on my Twitter how much I regret my life choices.
  • I will listen to an embarrassingly large amount of Britney Spears to get through this.

My idea right now involves:

  • The number three.
  • Lots and lots of water.
  • The Lost City of Atlantis.
  • Subverting the Chosen One trope.
  • Greek mythology.
  • Ancient Roman names.
  • Empathetic villains.
  • Hateful protagonists.
  • Sea slugs.

I may or may not be kidding on that last one.

If you want to add a cooky stranger on NaNo, I’m bluesunsets! I keep thinking about changing my name, but it’s the writing and not the username that matters most to me. Add me and I’ll add you back — and, hey, maybe we’ll be able to slay this beast together this November?

I confess, I wanted to be Oscar when I grew up.

Can you guess who is completely and utterly lazy?

If you didn’t say “The chick who runs this so-called ‘blog'”, then you’re a hell of a lot kinder than I am.

Although, I don’t know if I could call it “lazy.” I’ve been distracted, yes. Occasionally busy due to my poor time management, most certainly. But I think “lazy” is brushing aside why I haven’t updated in months.

I’ve had my eyes open to the fact that I don’t really come off like I’m confident. Sucks to hear, you know. But it’s an eye-opener. Here I was, thinking I was strutting my stuff to Staying Alive.

In reality, I was hiding behind trash cans and hoping no one would see me.

I really love Oscar.

I’m not confident in myself because I put myself down. It’s really simple.

So, I’ve been reading some articles, because I’m not really interested in purchasing self-help books that will only collect dust on my bookshelf. I think I’ve gotten the main points down on what I need to do. It’s the ideas that stood out for me, which, you know, really does mean that those are the points that hit hardest to home for me.

But the thing is, I actually already knew I had to to these things.

Whenever my friends are down, I always tell them they should try and identify what pushed them down the stairs. Identification is so important in almost every aspect of the word. What I have to do, my friends, is identify what I cling to that pulls me down. What is it that I latch onto to grade my self-worth? Do I compare myself to someone? Do I look at myself in the mirror and think “You don’t look like Charlize Theron?” and thus am immediately unconfident?

It’s been affecting my job search more than I realised. I walk into interviews and the sharks can already smell I’ve scratched myself. It doesn’t really make you feel good. But identifying the problem and then breaking it down is the best thing someone can do to change the way they perceive things.

Fingers crossed I only continue to move upward. Fingers crossed I actually sit down and think of a topic for this blog. Fingers crossed I’m as cute as Oscar the Grouch when I’m at my grumpiest.

The question I’ve had to ask myself is: If I don’t have confidence in myself, then why should anyone else?

I have a confession …

I’ve been trying to figure out what my next blog post should be. I haven’t really defined my blog. Do I really need to define it? Maybe I do. But I figured maybe my next post should be something honest.

I have a confession to make.

Don’t worry, I’m not Kel. I don’t even like orange soda.

And no, I didn’t put the screw in the tuna.

You know how I said in my last post not to give up? Well, I sort of did. I’ve been down and moody, upset and angry, and it’s all because I gave up.

Now, that’s a bit of a lie, given how I’ve had an interview or two in the interim. I’ve applied for positions to not hear back — and that’s fine, I wasn’t shortlisted. But I gave up in the sense that I feel like I’m going nowhere — and I’ve admitted it.

I haven’t done a lot of what I’ve wanted to do because of this. I haven’t online shopped since my birthday. I haven’t gone to bed early for the heck of it. I haven’t written anything creative despite wanting to. I have placed all these blocks on myself and for what?

I’ve found that it is too easy to fall into a bubble of negativity. I do believe it’s necessary sometimes, to fall into a bit of a hole where you feel like nothing is going your way. It’s horrible to experience and it’s horrible to think about, but, it made me change a few things in my life. However permanent these may be, we’ll see.

But I’ll tell you what changed.

I started opening up to some good mates of mine about how I felt. I’d been keeping my own feelings to myself and acting like a happy-go-lucky kind of girl without any worries of my own. I didn’t like to burden people with it. But friends are there to let you burden them. And they’re there to help you unburden yourself. I started to be open on my Facebook about how I felt, and I’ve had people support me and maybe even act differently toward me (the good kind of different, before you even worry) because they understood I was struggling. I’ve acknowledged why I am unhappy with myself. I’ve acknowledged what I want to achieve. And after speaking to a good mate on our Saturday Maccas run, while also chatting to a good buddy overseas, I’ve decided to make myself a promise to do what I want and to make time for myself.

So, if you’re feeling blue and you’re down in the dumps, promise me one thing: Be down, be in the dumps, but do something you want to do. Go for a walk, a bike ride. Read a book. Buy something gorgeously expensive online. (Look, I am. And lets hope I get the sizes right this time.) Admit you’re not happy and then be happy, because it worked for me. My upward climb is slow, but I’m in control of whether or not it’s steady.

The valuable lesson I learned this month? People will always want the best for you, even when you don’t want it for yourself. But there is power in wanting the best for yourself, too. Do what you want. Try and achieve what you want to achieve. Give yourself permission to want what you want and go for it. Stop holding yourself back, or I will put a screw in your tuna.

an important message for job hunters

The one thing no one ever tells you is this:

Finding a job post-uni is hard.

Maybe it’s common sense, like how the sky is above us, to just know this already. Sometimes it’s blue, sometimes it’s pink, and sometimes it’s just the most miserable thing you’ve ever seen.

Looking for a job that’s right for you? It’s that grey in the sky that makes you feel like the entire day is going to be complete shit. I don’t know about you, but I hate it when the sky is grey. I like seeing the sun. I like feeling the sun. And job hunting is like that one time Monty Burns wanted to block it out.

I still haven’t found a job, despite having countless interviews. But each interview is experience gained, something you can’t learn at university. Still, though, it can be pretty draining and disheartening to have receive that phone call or email telling you you’ve been shortlisted to only find another one in your inbox a week later to tell you you’re unsuccessful.

Too often the reason why I’m declined is due to experience. But what else can you do but hunt for that position that’s just for you? I don’t want to be CEO. I don’t want to be an Executive. I do know I do not want to be the office coffee girl. For one, I don’t like coffee. And two, I suck at making coffee. No one wants me in a position I know I won’t excel in more than myself.

The whole rejection process is really like a cloud hanging over you. I’ve been rained on so much my poncho is in tatters. There’s no point in even doing my hair because it ends up ruined every time I think the sun is starting to poke through the clouds.

I have gone for so many positions, entry level to those I know I won’t get, and I’ve found myself declined for a reason that I can’t help. I’ve gone out of my way to learn how to row a boat in this particular lake. I’m even starting to learn how to make the oars. But it’s never good enough.

There’s nothing I can say that will give anyone any comfort. I find little when someone tells me the job that’s for me is waiting right around the corner. Maybe it is. Maybe it’s holding a newspaper over its head as it waits for me to invite me inside a nice warm coffee shop on George Street.

But the one thing I won’t stop is hunting. And I won’t settle for a job that isn’t what I want. No one else should, either. If you know what you want, go for it. Hunt it down. Play some Jumanji. Encourage the sun to come back out again.

Until I find that job waiting for me beneath the saddest slip of cover in the rain, there’s one thing I think is so important to be reiterated over and over to the graduates who are like me and sometimes lose hope.

Know you’re not alone.

And as cliche as it is to even say this, that job you’re waiting for – that job I’m waiting for – is around the corner. Don’t sit down on the side of the road or turn around and swipe your Opal card at Central Station to take the train back home because your dejection has gotten the best of you.

Try. Each interview is a learning experience. Even if you walk in so confident despite knowing someone better will get the position over you, still go.

All I can say to fellow graduates looking for a job to kickstart their career: Don’t give up. And carry an umbrella.

how is this news?

No one who knows me should be surprised by the fact I don’t know what I’m doing.

For a year now, I’ve wanted to start my own blog. About what? I used to ask myself. I have nothing interesting to speak about.

A year later, I still don’t have anything interesting to speak about.

But I feel like it’s time to be able to put my thoughts somewhere. I have no idea how successful this is even going to be. Half the time, I’m so lazy I can’t even be bothered texting my friend. How am I going to manage a blog?

I mean, lets be real here — sometimes, all I want to do is express myself in a rather passive aggressive gif from one of the Real Housewives franchises.

Hopefully this won’t resort to that.

I’m not a psychic. I’m actually piss poor at predicting things. But my intent for my blog is for it to contain content on how hard it truly is to be a graduate set free in this world post-uni, left to my owns devices as I search high and low for that door that will give me a start to my future career; how amazing it is to think about becoming a writer and how difficult it is to break the vicious two-step cycle of opening Word to only close it; and, sometimes, just some commentary on writing and entertainment.

I’m a Communications graduate with a major in Public Relations with an intense interest in writing and how important and impactful it can be on our world today. I also have #opinions that belong in the hashtags of Tumblr, as well as Hulk-like anger toward the representation of females in our creative entertainment.

But the one important thing you need to know about me is I’m a koala.